timing is everything

burrito's post about a sheister landlord made me think of a story that i thought i oughta tell. as all good stories go, this one starts with

"once upon a time...

i got a call from the "new office manager" of an apartment complex where i once lived - 2 years after i moved out.

"you owe us a cleaning fee," she said, "because we had to clean the freezer after you moved out."

she wanted the entire deposit (that had long ago been refunded, divided amongst roommates and spent) to be mailed to the apartment complex.

here's how the rest of the conversation went:

"why are you just now calling me about this?"

"well i was going through some old files when i took the job and saw that you weren't charged the cleaning fee."

"really? i'm pretty sure that that freezer was clean when we moved out. i'm not going to send any money without some proof. do you have anything you can send me?"

"we have a polaroid of your freezer. you're welcome to come by and look at it."

"i'm at work anytime you guys are open and live all the way across town. i'm not coming by on my day off. can you make a copy and fax it to me?" (quick on my feet, i wasn't ABOUT to give her my new address...)

"it doesn't copy well."

"well. i think it's the only option."

"i'll try it. what's your fax number?"

i proceeded to give her my fax number at work and waited a few minutes to receive a faxed copy of a big black blob in the middle of the piece of paper and a note that read something to the effect of, "you can clearly see..."

no, no i couldn't. into the trash it went, along with the lady's call back number and any thought i entertained, even for a second, of paying some stupid cleaning fee based on a polaroid that might or might not have been my freezer that i might or might not have cleaned before leaving the place.

needless to say, she didn't call back.

i don't win often when i go mano et mano with the man, kids. but i won that round...

more tales of my rebellious youth (and not so youth) as i think of 'em. now back to your regularly scheduled programming.