i didn't know i had it in me

so there i was, at the climbing gym on tuesday nite, hanging out and working on a few problems, the bouldering sort, not the personal sort.

from across the gym i saw a familiar face, a guy that i used to work with and used to be friends with. key words: used to be. without going into the details, the guy screwed me over. twice. i'm pretty sure he knows that i know he did it once. he doesn't know that i know that he did it twice. i've forgiven him and, to be quite honest, moved on. but i don't want to be his buddy and hang out with him.

back to the action: the former friend sees me and calls my name from across the gym, walking towards me and another friend of mine (acquaintance of his). i give him a head nod and a, "hey," as he gets closer. we stand there, him with his hand extended for a shake, me holding my chalk bag. we exchange pleasantries for a brief second before he asks, "are you not going to shake my hand?" to which i reply, "nope."

i'd never done that before. ever. i've always talked about it, but had never actually followed through. i always thiought it must be cool to be like doc holliday in tombstone, casually mumbling, "forgive me if i don't shake hands," to someone i don't care for. and i did it! i stoned the guy. i stunned him.

i wanted to say, "you can't just fuck me over and then walk up to me a year later and offer your hand like nothing happened." i wanted to tell him that i think he is a shallow, hypocritical prick with bad breath and a napolean complex. i wanted to reveal to him how many people had told me they were glad he had moved and was sorry to see him back in town.

but i didn't. i just said, "nope," and watched as he tried to figure out what had just happened. he talked with my friend for a second, obviously still trying to put it all together. when he turned to walk away (my attention was already elsewhere) i gave a quick, "see ya," to his back, to which he threw up a frustrated hand as if to say, "whatever."

i'm sure i'll run into him again, and i'll probably tell him why i wouldn't shake his hand and that, while i don't mind being polite, we won't be friends.

he's probably already figured that last part out.