it's gonna be one of those days.

here's how i'm doing today:

-i have a crick in my neck that would make quasimoto weep.
-i have a headache.
-i can barely keep my eyes open.

i can hear you all asking yourselves, "what did newton drink last nite?" nothing, dear readers. all of the above is a result of me sleeping on the couch last nite. "oh," you say. "what'd you do?" nothing. i'm not in trouble with the wife, i didn't fall asleep there watching tv, nothing like that.

i slept on the couch because my dog mugsy had the screamin' shits last nite. and when he gets the shits, he gets gassy. and when he gets gassy he gets scared. and when he's scared, he whines. oh, how he whines.

this happens every now and again, for no known reason (it's not like his diet really ever changes). mugsy (on the left) starts whining that "cocker whine" right after we go to bed. that's his way of saying, "you don't sleep until you fix this." we've tried to resist before, only to eventually cave in and realize that he's created lake doo-doo in the kitchen because we didn't take him out in time. so i took him out and then slept on the couch. with mugsy at my feet. farting. like your grandfather after christmas dinner, minus the leg lift.


so forgive me if i'm a bit slappy and if i fall asleep in conversation. i was on poop patrol all nite.
~~
in other news, here's the funniest picture i've seen in a long, long time.



















who knew you could get so much pleasure out of golf?