rokken like dokken (circa 1986)

alright, kiddos. here are the much anticipated photos from last nite's class of 1986 prom. snarky captions courtesy of me. please feel free to leave your wiseass comments in the comments section. here goes:



me and my hot date with some other seniors. note my fake vaurnet france glasses and the pink hair highlight. all of these thing were actually worn by me in 1986. i was 10. i had the coolest mom EVER. our hosts are on the far right. they know how to throw down. not only do they rule, but they're newlyweds. rad.






me and my hot babe. yes, we're rockin' the bartyls and james. yes, they DO taste like ass, proving once and for all that anyone who actually drank that shit was doing coke. lots and lots of coke.















my friend daniel (aka "pit bull") and his girl kristin. daniel got my vote for prom king. the wife got my vote for queen.

















can she dance or WHAT?!?!?! (that's our friend pete in the background. pete had a lot to drink. pete also went to bed with less in his stomach than he came to the party with.)
















aww, baby, they're playing mister, mister! you know broken wings is our slow dance song! just make sure to leave room for the holy ghost...











pete rockin' the def leppard karaoke. slightly before he rocked the back of some dude's jacket with regurgitated rice bombs. slightly after rocking a half dozen glasses of "hurts so good" punch.















"almost paradise...we're knockin' on heaven's door...almost paradise...how could we ask for more? i swear that i can see forever in your eyes...paaaaradiiiiise."










more prom photos. i hope we got enough wallet size...












out behind the gym with the rebel boys...that dude john bender's got nothin' on me.