saaaaaiiiiling, takes me away (and smashes me into bits): a story 'bout a crazy dream

first, dawson made me think of this.

now, i had this dream last week. this is how it all shook down (also a great 'mats record):

the wife and i are on vacation. i don't know where exactly, but there were rivers and mountains and beaches. kinda like the harpeth river if it were in the rockies, if they just happened to be in panama city (minus the skanks in airbrushed tshirts).

i had this scuba diving contraption. you know, the kind that you hang onto when you're scuba-ing that has a little motor that pulls you through the water? well, mine was special. not only would it pull you through the water, it would pull you through the air. like a rocket. so here i am, tear-assing around the harpeth mountain beach, doing all kinds of cool tricks: barrell rolls, flips, dive bombing shit like it's my job. i'm zooming through the trees and the beaches and skimming along the rivers like one of those fancy nature imax films. and then it happened: i forgot which way to hold the rocket scuba thing to go down and which way to go up (i know that makes me stupid, but it's a dream, so screw off.). so i'm wanting to go back down to the ground, but i'm pointing the thing the absolute wrong direction. so i just keep going higher and higher and higher until the ground looks like i'm in an airplane. i finally figure out what's wrong, but i'm more scared about going down than i am about being up there. but go down i must, so i start going down and then...i forget which little button is for "fast" and which one's for "slow." so here i am screaming toward the water, both literally and figuratively, unable to stop because i can't figure out the damn controller! all i could think to do was to make myself really, really straight and to think really skinny thoughts so i would not be smashed into bits when i hit the water. i guess i survived the touch down, because i woke up and had to go drink some orange juice (and take a leak) before i could fall asleep.

i think the meaning of that dream is that i'm crazy.