best way to skip the state of the union.

the prez gives his annual state of the union address tomorrow nite, also known as "how to ruin a normally good tv nite."

i've got good news! (that has nothing to do with car insurance...or cavemen.)

i can help you avoid the boring dancing and prancing around real issues and real solutions tomorrow nite. it just so happens that i'll be playing at the basement tomorrow nite, for free no less, and the show's scheduled to run the entire length of the address. how's THAT for a nice coincidence?

i've got lots of shenanigans for all in attendance that will definitely include 1 new song and 1 new loop. it might include special effects. maybe. if you want to know for certain, best be there...what else are you gonna do? count the number of w's grammatical errors and pronunciation flubs?

did i mention that it's free? so get off your 21 and over rump tomorrow and get to the basement.

what huey lewis should've said

i love me some huey lewis. who can argue that stuck with you, i want a new drug, she's heart & soul aren't all classics. you have to overlook heart of rock & roll, sure, but huey's the man. i even think that duets was a good flick.

having said all that, i think that, when composing songs for michael j.'s hit movie, he should've skipped the power of love and gone straight to the power of the comma.

i can see your perplexed face contort and your head cock to the side like a confused puppy as you say, "huh?"

observe:

sans comma:
she had a crack baby.

avec comma:
she had a crack, baby.

see how one comma changes everything?

ladies and gentlemen, i give you...


the comma!!!!!!

the most powerful punctuation mark in the english language!!!

to help you all sleep tonite

here are the final details on my show next week:

who: me (duh), along with faith gilmore and rebecca loebe
where: the basement, nashville (just behind grimey's preloved music)
when: tues, jan 31, 7p start (done by nine, home in time for the news, even if you live in springfield!)
how much: free, free, free! it's a bargain at twice the price
misc: i promise that i'll play one new song and might have a new loop in addition to that. faith and rebecca are pretty awesome from what i've heard, so the whole nite's gonna be awesome.

hope to see everyone there...

where's paula cole when i need her?

i guess what i'm really askin' is:

where have all the comments gone?

did i break wind or something? where is everyone?

are we not men?

a friend of mine had a post today on her myspace blog about men being dogs, always giving in to their urges, etc. she wasn't calling us (men) evil or anything like that, just stating facts (more or less). i happen to disagree, so i commented to her post. this is what i said:

the thing is, everyone has "cravings of the flesh." men might have more than women, or men might just be more apt to feel and/or give in to them. do i feel them? yup. do i care to act on them? not really. have i acted on them in the past (before i met best wife ever)? yup. was it worth the trouble? not really.

maybe i'm just lazy, but it's sure easier to not mess with all that messin' around. and it feels really good knowing that i have the rest of my life to figure out one woman - what makes her tick, what makes her laugh, what makes her cry, what makes her angry, what makes her get off...

i've got my whole life to figure her out, and it might take my whole life. i think that's why God set marriage up as a one on one, permanent type thing. i couldn't imagine trying to figure out two of her. maybe it's just me, though...

now you know what i think, but i guess i'll open it up to the group. are we (men) dogs, incapable of resisting our urges, sticking our pole in whatever pond seems to have the best fishing? or is it simply a group within our gender who give the rest of us a bad name?

discuss.

the next big thing

mark your calendars, boys and broads! my first show of 2006 is coming up soon, january 31st to be exact. here are the details (what few i have):

tues, jan 31 (no hockey, so no excuses)
the basement
new faces nite
no cover

i don't have the time yet, but it's possiblistic that this one might be early (7-8). details as they come...

hope to see everyone there!

A Picture Share!

yannic perreault discussing the preds 7-2 win!

cool site of the day (w/bonus question)

sing it with me...

"my buddy,
my buddy
wherever i go
heeeeee goes..."

and let's not forget kid sister...

this, however, is the cool site of the day.

enjoy.

question for the class: what are your favorite 80's toys?
mine were m.u.s.c.l.e. men and m.a.s.k.. what's with the abbreviations?

all work and no play...

...makes newton a busy boy!

sorry for the lack of posts lately. since last week, i've been trying to get caught up at work and also trying working on booking shows and different marketing things, one of which is the topic of today's post.

i know that a lot of you are on myspace. hell, half the free world seems to be using it, so my guess is that you do, too. i'd love for you to swing by my profile, check out some tunes, drop me a line to let me know what you think, and maybe even send me a friend request.

that's all for now...more details as they come...film at 11.

back in the saddle

it feels like it's been much longer than it has, but now i'm back. sort've. i'm not much in the mood for posting today, so this is what you get, unless my mood changes:

yacht rock can suck it!

A Picture Share!

'sarcasm 'nothing says' I want to be a musician' like powerpoint presentations. I LOVE POWERPOINTS!!!!! </ sarcasm>

A Picture Share!

the corporate singer band...terribleness at its finest!

i think i just messed up my pants

i've been waiting for something like this for a long, long time.

rest assured, when i finally buy my new ipod, this will be my second accessory*.

what ipod accessory double clicks your wheel?



*first would be a case. i've heard that the nano scratching thing is just as bad on the video ipod.

new song...

so here's the new ditty, well, the words anyway. i still haven't come up with a title yet. feel free to offer suggestions for a title, just don't feel badly if i don't use it. here 'tis:

in this hotel room
too close to you
where the sheets aren't clean
but i can fill my soul
with rock and roll
and the bible in the drawer
if Jesus loves me anymore

my nose bleeds from the dry heat in this room
i got springsteen on...

i could be the thing that breaks your fall
i would be the one who loves you most of all
if you'd come home
if you'd come home

in this empty house
that once held a home
and the floors aren't clean
and this rock and roll
it won't steal your soul
but it don't keep you warm
the way she keeps you warm

my nose bleeds from the dry heat in this room
i got springsteen on...

i could be the thing that breaks your fall
i would be the one who loves you most of all
if you'd come home
if you'd call me home

i'd quit my job for you
i live and die by you
i'd sell out for you
rock and roll
rock and roll
--

so that's it. it's weird putting words out knowing that no one, save for the 4 people who read this who were at the party, knows what it sounds like. maybe i can record it and post it here...we'll see.

did anyone catch the name of that truck???

yes, yes, yes. the rumours are true. i had a hell of a birthday bash on saturday nite. the best wife ever did up a friend's house right, with lights all over the place, a disco ball, balloons on the ceiling and a birthday cake. all i was allowed to take care of was the playlist and the beer. even the punch (aptly named dominey's dilemma punch) was taken care of.


folks started rolling in around 8. folks were still rolling out at 4.30. in between time, i was toasted, serenaded over birthday cake, coerced into playing a mini-set, and debuted a new song. did i mention there was a keg? did i mention that we also played "coke or pepsi" at some point during the evening? well...

i didn't roll out of bed until 5p last nite. and i felt like i'd been hit by whatever truck brought the beer in. i could't even use the word "drink" without wanting to retch last nite. i "had" some water, "enjoyed" some iced tea, but i didn't drink shit. i might even skip the obligatory cold one during the hockey game tomorrow (maybe...we upgraded our tickets last nite to sit 5 rows off the ice...that kinda calls for a beer).

posting will be rather light this week, as i've got a sales meeting - also known as most fun thing ever (for the day job) that will last almost all week. maybe i can snap off some funny pictures on the old treo and do some mobile posting, but nothing like normal. i'll try to get the lyrics for the new song, as of yet unnamed, up later today.

A Picture Share!

what's the best way to get ready for the predators vs the red wings? change a flat damn tire. in 15 minutes flat. i got places to be!!!!!

wal-mart: they must've sold out of good news...like those laptops...

oh, this is good. great, even.

check it out.

overheard in baptist hospital delivery wing

i'll get to the title in a second. first, a play by play of my birthday festivities; not to rub anyone's nose in it, but to just highlight the efforts of the best wife ever (formerly referred to as the wife).

-got home at 6.30. best wife ever wants to have a champagne toast to my birthday. (we ultimately pass because i'm empty stomached and champagne doesn't agree with me without food. nevertheless.)

-upstairs to unwrap some of my presents (of which there were 5). best wife ever picks which ones i get to open (as all good gift givers do). a brand new copy of old school, beck's sea change, and a bottle of glen moray (one of my favorite scotches). now THAT'S a good start.

-downtown to the melting pot. waiting at our table? balloons and a card from the best wife ever. no song and dance from the wait staff, although i would've participated had they serenaded me. cheese, salads, wine, entree, coffee, dessert and a slow walk out to the car later, we were on our way to "some place that makes us smile."

-it took her a few funny turns, which only increased my confusion, but a few minutes later we arrive at baptist hospital to go look at babies (i could be overheard more than once saying, "i want me a baby, hi. get me a baby."). she knows i love kids of all kinds, so she thought we'd go here to check out little chicks and dudes that share my birthday. yes, that's barfingly sweet. that's why she's the best wife ever.

-back home for more gifts. a monocular (one eyed binocular. handy for taking to hockey games...) and a bottle of glenkinchie (another tasty malt) are unwrapped. the best mother in law ever even dropped off her gift while we were gone (it was a pasta pot. not the coolest gift ever, but thoughtful as hell since she knows i love my pasta.)

-the best wife ever's tuckered out, but says she wants to hear the new song. she likes it so much that she hears it twice. at 12.30, much later than normal, she heads off to bed and i head outside to enjoy of glass of glenkinchie and 2 american spirits.

this is my mountaintop, from the top of which i shout,

"i have the best wife ever!!!......and she's really hot!!!!"
--
okay, the title...

so we're looking at babies sleeping and crying and doing their baby thing. there's an average looking dad and his (guessing) 4 year old son looking at we later deduce to be the new little brother. pop's got junior on his back, looking in the window. best wife ever and i witness the following exchange:

dad: so whatdya wanna name it? (yes, it.)
son: (straight faced) chicken nugget.
dad: we can't call it (yes, it) chicken nugget. whatdya wanna name it (yes, it)?
son: boy.
dad (as they walk away): we can't just call it boy...whatdya wanna name it...

if you hurry, you can be the first one to kroger

don't look now, nashville.

it's snowing outside.

barely.

it was 30 years ago today...

hello, 30. nice to meet you. name's newton.

i'm about to show you some shit you never seen before.

be ready.
---
the big 3-0. scary, huh? nope. it's only scary if you think it's over. it's not over. it's just starting. lennon had some of his best work in his 30's. so did costello. springsteen? maybe. westerberg? sure.

watch out world, here i come.

the best part of all? the muse sat on my shoulder and wrote me a song in the last 90 minutes. outta nowhere. it's not even about getting or being or growing or not wanting to be older. just a song, from a dude, writing songs, about rock and roll. and chicks. it's about rock and roll and chicks.

i'm 30. word the f up.

(love you, mom. here's to ya.)

body spray for blogs

that's right. i've been tagged (get it? the body spray? tag? sheesh...). bad bad ivy is letting me play her game, but i've got to go one higher, in true spinal tap fashion. here's my 5's:

five jobs you've had in your life: church pew builder (3 days), youth ministy intern, chick-fil-a dude (minus the mustache and mullet), mobile phone sales rep, musician.

five movies you could watch over and over: high fidelity, that thing you do, multiplicity, best in show, almost famous (not my favorite 5 necessarily, but close.)

five places you've lived: (in order) tyler, tx; knoxville, tn; nashville, tn; brandon, ms; antioch, tn

five TV shows you love to watch: hockey, ed (even if it's not still on it makes the list), scrubs, the office, my name is earl

fice places you've been on vacation: negril, jamaica; destin, fl; bermuda; cloudcroft, nm; san francisco, ca.

five websites you visit daily: nashvillepredators, myspace, she said what, beingbrilliant, sitemeter (dork)

five of your favorite foods: no meata fajitas (from chicago diner), bread (any kind without mold except rye. barf!), pistachio nuts, wendy's fries, cookie avalance soy ice cream.

five places you'd rather be: not here, behind a guitar/in front of a microphone, with the wife, jamaica, cloudcroft, bonus: san francisco

five albums you can't live without: mega-tough. jayhawks, hollywood town hall; the clash, london calling; elvis costello, next year's model/my aim is true/armed forces (toss up); bruce springsteen, born to run; beach boys, pet sounds

five people you'd tag to play this game: wooderson, wage, jill, kevin, muffy

ain't that a kick in the balls

i went to bed last nite thanking God that 12 out of 13 of the trapped miners in west virginia had been rescued. i saw this morning where the initial report was wrong. as you all know, 12 of 13 miners were found dead.

my thoughts and prayers to all the families whose hopes were lifted and then dropped so abruptly.

for the record...

working the day after a long break is much worse, in my opinion, than working the day before a long break. at least the day before you have something to look forward to...now all i can think of is what i have to look forward to: more time in my little cubicle of happiness.

what i wouldn't give for the birthday fairy to bring me a career as a musician...

programming alert

i try to leave little doubt about my feelings on wal-mart. i won't spend any time going into them again right now.

the pbs series frontline will be airing is wal-mart good for america in nashville tonite and early tomorrow morning at 8pm and 4am, respectively (wnpt is channel 8 for all you comcast subscribers out there). if it's anything at all like other wal-mart pieces i've seen, it should be eye opening and, if you're at all like me, make you angry enough to do something about it, like never ever shop there again.

if, like me, you'll be watching the hockey game at 8 and sleeping at 4, you can watch the program online (or just record it). i'll do my best to have a followup post to this one once i've had a chance to check it out.

rokken like dokken (circa 1986)

alright, kiddos. here are the much anticipated photos from last nite's class of 1986 prom. snarky captions courtesy of me. please feel free to leave your wiseass comments in the comments section. here goes:



me and my hot date with some other seniors. note my fake vaurnet france glasses and the pink hair highlight. all of these thing were actually worn by me in 1986. i was 10. i had the coolest mom EVER. our hosts are on the far right. they know how to throw down. not only do they rule, but they're newlyweds. rad.






me and my hot babe. yes, we're rockin' the bartyls and james. yes, they DO taste like ass, proving once and for all that anyone who actually drank that shit was doing coke. lots and lots of coke.















my friend daniel (aka "pit bull") and his girl kristin. daniel got my vote for prom king. the wife got my vote for queen.

















can she dance or WHAT?!?!?! (that's our friend pete in the background. pete had a lot to drink. pete also went to bed with less in his stomach than he came to the party with.)
















aww, baby, they're playing mister, mister! you know broken wings is our slow dance song! just make sure to leave room for the holy ghost...











pete rockin' the def leppard karaoke. slightly before he rocked the back of some dude's jacket with regurgitated rice bombs. slightly after rocking a half dozen glasses of "hurts so good" punch.















"almost paradise...we're knockin' on heaven's door...almost paradise...how could we ask for more? i swear that i can see forever in your eyes...paaaaradiiiiise."










more prom photos. i hope we got enough wallet size...












out behind the gym with the rebel boys...that dude john bender's got nothin' on me.